The Bottom Line

December 2015

I knew a great place to celebrate New Year’s Eve, near McPherson Square and next to the Veterans Affairs office on I Street.  Established in 1979, The Bottom Line has served politicians, lobbyists, authors, and celebrities dirty martinis and gin and tonics over the span of four decades.

It’s a renowned watering hole that welcomes Bengals fans on football Sundays.  The basement dive bar serves Skyline Chili atop a pile of spaghetti with a generous mound of shredded cheddar cheese.

The burgers are also half price on Mondays, and on Fridays there’s the uber popular “Beat the Clock” happy hour, where cold bottles from their extensive beer list start dirt cheap at 4 and climb a buck to $5 at 5 and until it reaches its peak at 8 pm.

I had visited the institution before on Sept 14, 2014, when the Falcons played the Bengals at Paul Brown Stadium, Cincinnati, and the Bengals whooped the Dirty Bird’s ass. The “The Bengals Growl” played loud and proud every time they scored along with that celebrated/annoying chant.

“Who dey, who dey, who dey think gonna beat dem Bengals?”

“Nobody” is then screamed in unison.

Owner Jr Mosbrucker and Manager, Al Garcia, were busy keeping the DC Jungle happy, serving orange vodka shots to the faithful fans. Behind the bar, Ellen Massey and Ivan Aguillar were doing their magic pouring cheap domestic beer with baskets of crispy golden fries. The crowd was mostly trashed and boisterous, but for food, they were easy to please.

Jr had a knack for making his customers laugh and enjoy themselves. “We’ve played in two Super Bowls so far. Think we’re overdue to return to the big game very soon before we turn 40 I hope ”

New Year’s Eve

The party started with a bang.  The revelers greeted the wooden saluting Indian chief and gathered under the multi-colored chandeliers which lit up the funky walls with holiday props. They arrived early to reminisce all the big milestones of the year and recall all the victories and eventual defeat of their beloved football team. For the fourth year in a row, the Bengals were eliminated in the first round of the playoffs, but still, there was a lot to cheer for.  Muriel Bowser took the oath as the Mayor of DC, Hillary Clinton announced her campaign for President, and weed was now legally flowing in the city.

Merrymakers danced with abandon while the DJ spun a percussive house mix.  They sang “Raise Your Glass” by Pink and “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey while Ivan Aguilar worked behind the bar concocting stylish cocktails and pouring sparkling wine like a magician.

The crowd knew 2015 was going to be an even more amazing year.  The presidential campaigns would be heating up, and many were expecting Hillary to win the Democratic nomination.  D.C. restaurant scene would continue to flourish, and independent courier services like Postmates and Uber Eats were starting to gain steam.

So I was thrilled to have found the perfect spot to celebrate New Year’s Eve — What doors would open this year, and which ones would close?  Hopefully, the one resolution that I could stick with this year would be to drink less alcohol.

“Hey we’re looking for a website redesign next year,” Jr stated. “Would love for you to join the D.C. Jungle.”

“I’m a die-hard Falcons fan but, I love the energy, and would be thrilled to join the team,” I replied.

“Great what are your prices?”

“We start at $1,500 and work up depending on the number of pages and photos.”

“Sounds great. Looks like you’re having a blast. So to make it even more enjoyable, we’ll pick up your tab.”

“Fantastic Jr., I’m sold. Tonight, I’m officially a Bengals fan.”